Part 2: On the night of my wedding, I crawled underneath the bed planning to surprise my husband with a playful joke

Silence followed.

I stared at the dark carpet fibers in front of my eyes.

The version of him he gave me.

The man who cooked soup when I was sick.

The man who learned my mother’s favorite song and played it on our first Christmas together.

The man who held my hand at cemetery gates and told me he wished he could have met the woman who raised me.