At my daughter’s funeral, my son-in-law pointed at his daughters and announced, “They’re going into foster care. I deserve a fresh start with my new fiancée.”

“Actually, ma’am, he has all the standing in the world,” the lead GBI investigator stated, stepping forward and flashing a gold shield. “Mr. Arthur Vance, we are here to execute a federal warrant for corporate embezzlement, institutional healthcare fraud, and the chemical endangerment of a dependent.”