My mother-in-law cut off my hair while I slept—the same night the United States Army promoted me to the most important command of my career. When I woke and saw the damage, my husband barely reacted.

“I don’t just want a divorce, Rebecca,” I said, my voice dropping into the low, command-presence tone I used when briefing joint chiefs. “I want the identity theft addressed. I want the military benefits fraud investigated. I want every single dime stolen from the federal government and from my accounts accounted for.”