I arrived early for Christmas Eve dinner at my brother’s house and found my son sitting in the garage, eating a gas station sandwich in a folding chair, while inside the other children were having dinner at the table.

He nodded, but I knew it would take time.

We opened gifts together, just the two of us. I tried to keep things normal. But later that night, I sat alone in the kitchen, staring at my phone full of messages I never answered.